Believe me, I don't like talking about myself this much but I'm attempting to get the ball rolling:)
As for MY life, owning my OWN truth, and MY story- I am a very young 50 years old (I dont know how that happened) and for most of my life I have struggled with my place in it. I'm married to my husband Chuck for 2 1/2 years and he is the absolute best thing that ever happened to me. I dont know what i'd do without him and thats a fact. But he's not my first marriage and there have been a lot of frogs, and I'll just keep it at that lol. I earned him!!! lol I've had a ton of health issues over the course of my adult life and am still constantly dealing with that, both physical health and mental health (depression and anxiety are a constant). There have been times that I've been in abusive relationships and even though I feel like a strong person at my core, there have been many times in my life where I accepted things that i should have NEVER taken from anyone, and I'm ashamed of myself for that. I feel like I've experienced a lot of loss; I watched one best friend murdered, had another 2 friends die way too young of cancer. And I've always felt like no one got me- and the only ones who ever did are gone (again, thank God for my Chuck) Then to make matters worse on myself, I've always been stubborn as hell and hated to ask for help. I would always act like I was fine and didnt need anything and my family got so used to seeing me act like my life was under control that they never questioned me or offered help when my life was at it's rock bottom. Pride is a horrible thing folks! And all of this is the whole point of this web site!!! I dont want people out there to be like me! There have been times in my life where i thought i might die from the "aloneness" i felt in this world, but that was my own inner struggle and demons, it wasn't because no one loved me or cared about what happened to me. The times in my life when I HAVE ever shared my story I've always been amazed at the undertanding that I received, the support I felt, the admiration I garnered for the inner strength I've had to dig for and nurture. But its not really something to be commended in my mind, its just the way it is. I don't give up. I refuse to be a victim at all. I hate that freaking word. Life isn't fair lol. I have never understood the need for people to "woe is me" over the unfairness of their lives. It is what it is. You control the things you can control. Aren't none of us owed a damn thing.
So.. I am having so much fun designing all the stuff for this website. My dream is to be able to do this for a living! And not starve! lol Scary but exciting.
Why do we make things so hard for ourselves??? We should do what we love to do. We should search for every moment of happiness in this world we can find. Tomorrow is a gift. I think we owe it to ourselves to do what we need to do in order to be happy, to love each other, to share our compassion and our stories and our lives with each other and to hopefully help someone else to be able to do the same thing. Can you imagine living in a world full of happy people? Right???
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Your word painting turned out so good! I hope you enjoy it. Dying to know what "seeking" means to you if you ever want to share..